The Purple "Kurung".

I wore his favorite baju kurung today. Purple. He said I look good in purple. Well, used to. Sigh. I found myself dead today, I can't think of anything. My head is blank. But the common question is still in my head. " .. What is he doing right now? .. Talking to her through phones? " Maybe. I should push myself to forget him. I have back up guys that can replace him in any minute. But then, I can't. Heh.



I kept on swearing today. Even though I'm wearing baju kurung which people said I look sweet on it. I have to talk to the freaking customers that is so so so fucking rudeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I had a bad day today. Early in the morning, I've spoken with 3 freaking customers that is rude. Sigh. Why do i need this stress? If he's with me now, even as a friend, I believe I wont be this stressful. I'm tired. I need a vacation. Why a guy that told me that I'm his first love can suddenly went away? As far as I concern, people wont leave their first love.



What is he trying to tell me? That he's fine without me? Yes, I know that mista. I know you're doing fine without me, darling. I think I should do the same thing. I haven't ask anyone about him. It's been a week plus now. I know I shouldn't be worried about him now since there's someone is watching over him. But I think he won't blame me for having this little caring side on myself about him. He knows me well.


I'm trying to throw him away, yes I do. And I will, someday. But I really hope, soon, he will come back to me, even though as a friend. Who knows we can be bestfriends, maybe? :) I hoped. Sigh. I'm tired, just now while I was talking to the customer, I saw the mcd guy. He came to me and ask who is diana. And I said I don't have a clue. Right after he left, the smell of the fries hit my nose. God, I haven't eaten mcd since the Gaza case. Haha. How I missed eating mcd with him, sigh.


Before I left, there's a guy named Adam, talking to me. He's fine. And there was my friend, megan, waiting for me. So I said to Adam, I'm leaving and he said bye. When I reached to megan, suddenly he said, oh before that, Megan is a guy :) Haha! He said to me '' Adam is okay what? '' Then I look to him with this " ? " face. Then he repeated it again, " Yeah, the Adam guy, he's good la ". Then with spontaneous I said " How good the guy is pon, if he's not asking for my number, what for kan? " Haha. Then we both laughed. Yeah, I was joking :) Megan once asked me, what happened to me and my ex, and I said long story. And he said '' He's stupid for letting you go. Seriously from the way you were telling me about him, I can see that you do still want him back even after what he did to you which I didn't know because you did not telling me. Well, one thing lah, he's stupid. He shouldn't let go of this fine lady who is standing next to me right now. The loyal lady ". Sigh. I'm still not good enough Megan. Not good enough.



Again, I stood in front of his fav soya milk stall. I look at the road, how I missed wm. I haven't go out with friends since he left. I've been hiding myself in my room almost every minute. I just feel like I don't have anyone anymore. Stupid me, I have friends. But it's not enough. Well, it is enough, but there's something missing in my heart which can't be replaced or fill by anything or anyone. Ahh, too much saddy things.


He called me just now, not him. Not the " him " that I wanted, its another " him ". Well, he's fine fyi. He's driving savy, blue savy. He studied, uhh I forgot. In UIA. He's a year older than me. Great looks, great personalities, great background, bla². While we were talking to each other, suddenly he laughed. I ask why and he said " .. No, my friends ni. Nyanyi lagu I miss you like crazy by moffatts. " And I was like " Oh, and why did you laugh? " And he said " No, dorang tengah kena kan I. Dorang nyanyi sebab I tengah cakap dengan you ". Okay, seriously I don't get him. Haha never mind. Well one thing, I missed him :) Not him, the real him.



My friend rang me just now, asking me to out, for a dinner. And I said yes, but then actually I'm tired. I had a bad day like I told earlier. So I decided not to go. Hm. And they asked me, why I didn't sell the phones, like he did. And with a simple tone, and a simple answer, I said, '' Sentimental values ". Anyways, I found this one song tonight. It's really suits me now. Well, I just copy paste the lyrics. Enjoy.

I’m cold
I’m cold (Yeah)
I’m cold

Yeah
I got the right to put up a fight
but not quite cause you cut off my light
But my sight is better tonight and I might
See you in my nightmare
Oh how did you get there
Cause we were once a fairytale
But this is fair well

I got my life and its my only one
I got the night, I’m running from the sun
So goodnight, I made it out the door (door door door door)
After tonight, there will be no return
After tonight, I’m taking off on the road
I’m taking off on the road

And that you know (that you know)
Tell every one that you know
That I don’t love you no more
And that’s one thing that you know
That you know!

OK I’m back up on my grind
You, do you and I’m just gone do mine
You, do you cause I’m just gone be fine
OK I got you out my mind

The night is young, the drinks is cold
The stars is out, I’m ready to go
You always thought I was always wrong
Well know you know
Tell everybody everybody that you know
Tell everybody that you know
That I don’t love you no more
And that’s one thing that you know
That you know

I got the right to put up a fight
But not quite cause you cut off my light
But my sight is better tonight and I might
See you in my nightmare
Oh but how did you get there
Cause we were once a fairytale
But this is fair well yeaah

Baby girl I’m finished
I thought we were committed
I thought we were cemented
How I thought we meant it
Now we just forgetting
Now we just resenting
The clouds in my vision
Look how high I be getting
And it’s all because of you

Girl we through
You think your sh!t don’t stink but you are Mrs. P you
And I don’t see you with me no more
Now tell everybody that you know
That you know

That you know
Tell everybody that you know
That I don’t love you no more
And that’s one thing that you know
That you know
That you know
Tell everyone that you know
That I don’t love you no more
And that’s one thing that you know
That you know

Goodnight, Goodnight, I'll see you in my nightmares. Goodbye, my used to be everything.







- Nobody.
Thanks friends, for everything. Thanks for being angry to me each time he across in my head. I'll forget him now. I should. But then, still, deep inside my heart, I believe he is still the one. I hope, in 2 3 years time, we will meet, and starting everything back from the beginning . . I wished.