4 AM in the morning.

I woke up early today, even though I slept late yesterday. The clock strikes to number 4, so I knew I have to sleep. I have to force myself to sleep. But I can't. I kept on thinking about someone who is not thinking about me. " .. Still can't believe you found somebody new .. " I love this song. Suits me. Well, it doesn't matter, sigh.




Zoo. I miss going there with him. I miss the feelings of watching those animals sleeping and do their own things. Haha. Yeah, rindu :')) We used to go there, and I miss 'KEMENSAH' too. We always go there when we don't know where to go to. I really really miss him. I can't seem to throw this feelings out from my heart. Of course, I'll be missing him even though it's already 3years or more. Never once I loved a guy so much and he's asking me to back off from his life. It hurts. Seriously do. It fucking hurts. No words can describe how hurt it feels.





I heard he's doing really good now. I don't know where he can find the strength not to think of me. 4 years together, and those memories seems to fade away from his mind. I respect him for that. At least he did show me that he'll be fine without me and he's strong. Me? I failed badly. Hahaha! Stupid. Silly, yeah I know. Sigh :))




I'm weak, I used to be strong when he's in my life. He's my strength and my confident. I'm a girl who is lack with confident and I'm not independent. But he changed me. He make me drag myself to PUDU RAYA alone, because I was eager to meet him in Malacca. Weird, but yeah, anything for him, I would do without thinking long. But still, its not enough for him. I'm still not 'the best' for him. Well I've tried. But then I've been replaced. Great. How pathetic I am.




" If i were a boy ( REMIX ) ", I love the song :) Try to listen to that song. I love the guy part. Haha. Cause he says he can't let go of the girl because he's too attached. Lol. Yeah, I'm emotional. I know. Ehe :)) People told me he's taking me for advantage, somehow I agree with them, but then I know I can't blame him. He's not being himself now. I know him well. But it's okay, it doesn't matter now. I'm still not good enough for him. I should just continue living my own life. Without him, without someone that I love, without his love in my life.




" If u're not the one for me,my world will perish.seriously it would coz u mean the whole world to me.i've known u,ur family and everything that has to do with it.hahah.i went on a holiday with ur family,slept with ur cousins.how can i forget u?it would be really hard.really really hard.but if i have to move on,i would but i'll be comparing a lot.hahaha.i would think ahh,s***** is like diz,ahh, s***** isnt like dat.hahaha.serioulsy,u're good enuff for me.i know at times there are things that i feel so mad about u.but that's who u are n im learning to accept it.but honestly i love u n i dont want to lose u. "






I used to believe those words. I thought he really mean it, but then I'm wrong. I'm a failure. I'm a loser. Boooo me.







- Nobody
I'm out of words. I can't think of anything else except for him. Okay, stupid me.