Today I woke up a bit late. Revenge time, I supposed. Since I have to wake up early every morning to go to work. I look at my hp, 3msgs. Its from my friends. Its weird when there's no msg from him. I missed his greetings every night and morning. " .. Goodnight baby, sweet dreams. I love you, mwah ta " ".. Hey baby! Morning! Just wanna say I love you. Mwaaaaaaah! " Well, sigh. I know I have to face this loneliness alone. Well, I'm a strong girl, I will. Someday. Pray for me.
I took my towel, and straight to the bathroom. I look at the mirror, I look different now. A bit pale, down, and my hair look horrible. Haha. I apply my Olay cleanser on my face, nice. But still, I don't see any different of me wearing it everyday. I put my shirts on. I went outside, watching tv with my family. My grandfather is here. I hope he wont ask me anything about him since he's close to my family. I hoped, I hoped.
I sat in front of my pc, suddenly this word popped out in my head " ... I won't ever let you go. You are my life, how can I live without my life? .. " Well, at least once, I believed those words. Yeah, I did. Sigh. I remembered, the first time he looked at me. I was running away from him. He came in my class, and smiled at me. I was happy that time. He looked cute. Seriously. I went down, and there he was. Looking cute with his baju melayu. He came to me and told me he wants to walked home with me later. And I said sure. I went upstairs with a smile on my face. And I screamed in my class. My friends ran to me and there you go, gossip time :)
I still remember that day, 21st march 2005, he was sick. High fever. I ran to my house just to take my dad's phone. I called my cousin, begging him to take him to the clinic. And he did came, and I was so thankful to him. He was very pampered to me that day, well I think its because he was sick. I put my hand on his face, hot. Very hot. I was worried, and I went home and wait patiently. And he text me later saying he's home. And thanked to me for the caring side of me for him just now. Well, I do love him, thats why I care for him.
Malacca, the first place we went for out 1st date. Weird? Yeah. On his birthday, we went to Malacca with our school teachers and friends for touring. I wore blouse, he asked for it. I sat next to him. We was so happy that day. He hold my hands tight. The feelings to be loved is very beautiful. I had it once, and I lost it now. Malacca, it used to make me feel happy when I went there. The feelings to be 24/7 with our lover, happy moments, happy days. The last time I went there, I felt different. He was treating me quite different and weird. He text the girl, I mean, his gf now, even though I was next to him that time. Cool, right? But I didn't complained anything. I kept in my heart. The feelings of insecure. The feelings of scared. Soon, I will go there again. But this time its different. I go there to meet my friends, not him. Not anymore. And I hope, we wont bummed into each other. Cause I can't bare the feelings to see him in front of me doing nothing together. I'm afraid if I see him with the girl. Ahhh buffalo.
I still remembered, we're eating donuts in KLCC. Taste very good. And suddenly his sliver drooling from his mouth while he was biting the donut. Its funny. He was hiding it from me, but I noticed it. And we burst into laughed. Haha. Its cute when he tend to get shy. His face turns out red. I kissed his cheek. I love him so much, with all my heart. But now, there's no more us. No more happy moments, no more sweet lovers. No more, just no more.
I should look ahead now. There's no turning back. But why I kept on picturing him as my husband? Why I kept on visualizing out marriage moments? He wants 7 maids, 4 drivers and big house. I said no, I don't want him to be cocky, but then I was wrong. His intention was to make me happy, but then I failed to understand him. Sorry sayang, I was wrong. You can get what you want. I'm sorry, I obey to what you said. 7 maids, 4 drivers, okay? I'm sorry, boo. I'm sorry . . Just come back, and I give everything that you want, including 6 cars that you've planned to buy someday . .
My family went out. I'm alone in my house, writing this. They asked me to join, but I'm too tired. I feel weak. I don't have the strength to go out and be happy. I should, yes I know I should, like he did. He's very strong. I know. I know, darling. I should go, but my mind is tired. I feel like sleeping the whole day. The savy guy called again, I didn't pick up. I put my phone far away from me. I don't think there's anyone will call me. .
I bought him the phone, and he sold it. The feelings of being hurt this way is more better than the feeling of losing him. Its worst. I know I made mistakes, and I will learn from it. I shouldn't love someone too much. And I wont love a guy like I loved him. I wont, and never will.
Guys, don't come to me. My heart is broken now.
- Nobody.
He taught me everything. Thanks, friend.
I took my towel, and straight to the bathroom. I look at the mirror, I look different now. A bit pale, down, and my hair look horrible. Haha. I apply my Olay cleanser on my face, nice. But still, I don't see any different of me wearing it everyday. I put my shirts on. I went outside, watching tv with my family. My grandfather is here. I hope he wont ask me anything about him since he's close to my family. I hoped, I hoped.
I sat in front of my pc, suddenly this word popped out in my head " ... I won't ever let you go. You are my life, how can I live without my life? .. " Well, at least once, I believed those words. Yeah, I did. Sigh. I remembered, the first time he looked at me. I was running away from him. He came in my class, and smiled at me. I was happy that time. He looked cute. Seriously. I went down, and there he was. Looking cute with his baju melayu. He came to me and told me he wants to walked home with me later. And I said sure. I went upstairs with a smile on my face. And I screamed in my class. My friends ran to me and there you go, gossip time :)
I still remember that day, 21st march 2005, he was sick. High fever. I ran to my house just to take my dad's phone. I called my cousin, begging him to take him to the clinic. And he did came, and I was so thankful to him. He was very pampered to me that day, well I think its because he was sick. I put my hand on his face, hot. Very hot. I was worried, and I went home and wait patiently. And he text me later saying he's home. And thanked to me for the caring side of me for him just now. Well, I do love him, thats why I care for him.
Malacca, the first place we went for out 1st date. Weird? Yeah. On his birthday, we went to Malacca with our school teachers and friends for touring. I wore blouse, he asked for it. I sat next to him. We was so happy that day. He hold my hands tight. The feelings to be loved is very beautiful. I had it once, and I lost it now. Malacca, it used to make me feel happy when I went there. The feelings to be 24/7 with our lover, happy moments, happy days. The last time I went there, I felt different. He was treating me quite different and weird. He text the girl, I mean, his gf now, even though I was next to him that time. Cool, right? But I didn't complained anything. I kept in my heart. The feelings of insecure. The feelings of scared. Soon, I will go there again. But this time its different. I go there to meet my friends, not him. Not anymore. And I hope, we wont bummed into each other. Cause I can't bare the feelings to see him in front of me doing nothing together. I'm afraid if I see him with the girl. Ahhh buffalo.
I still remembered, we're eating donuts in KLCC. Taste very good. And suddenly his sliver drooling from his mouth while he was biting the donut. Its funny. He was hiding it from me, but I noticed it. And we burst into laughed. Haha. Its cute when he tend to get shy. His face turns out red. I kissed his cheek. I love him so much, with all my heart. But now, there's no more us. No more happy moments, no more sweet lovers. No more, just no more.
I should look ahead now. There's no turning back. But why I kept on picturing him as my husband? Why I kept on visualizing out marriage moments? He wants 7 maids, 4 drivers and big house. I said no, I don't want him to be cocky, but then I was wrong. His intention was to make me happy, but then I failed to understand him. Sorry sayang, I was wrong. You can get what you want. I'm sorry, I obey to what you said. 7 maids, 4 drivers, okay? I'm sorry, boo. I'm sorry . . Just come back, and I give everything that you want, including 6 cars that you've planned to buy someday . .
My family went out. I'm alone in my house, writing this. They asked me to join, but I'm too tired. I feel weak. I don't have the strength to go out and be happy. I should, yes I know I should, like he did. He's very strong. I know. I know, darling. I should go, but my mind is tired. I feel like sleeping the whole day. The savy guy called again, I didn't pick up. I put my phone far away from me. I don't think there's anyone will call me. .
I bought him the phone, and he sold it. The feelings of being hurt this way is more better than the feeling of losing him. Its worst. I know I made mistakes, and I will learn from it. I shouldn't love someone too much. And I wont love a guy like I loved him. I wont, and never will.
Guys, don't come to me. My heart is broken now.
- Nobody.
He taught me everything. Thanks, friend.
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